An Absence of something important.
In the early hours of the morning I was canoodling about a casual chat discord sever, typing away and chuckling at the occasional joke. I decided I wanted to react to an image with one of the most majestic, inspiring animals known to man, the goose. However, as I scrolled through the creatures' section of the expansive emoji library, I noticed a very important figure missing. The goose. Sure, there were chickens and ducks, and all sorts of birds, but the goose! A figurehead of the waterfowl community, stripped of the rights to be a small, 2D .png usable across one of the most expansive and innovative messaging applications in this decade! It was heartbreaking to see such a kingly creature reduced below the level of a mere fried shrimp, who still received a slot on the prestigious emoji roster of discord. Because of this, I have decided to make a three point list of why the goose emoji should be added to discord.
1. The goose emoji would bring an entirely new level of depth to conversation and communication in both business and casual conversation. If a picture is worth a thousand words, then a picture of a goose is worth ten thousand. They are symbols of both courage and tenderness, the kindness of a peony with the rage of a thousand seas packed tightly into a single avian body. Using a goose emoji after a sentence could turn the tides of a heated argument, or it could provide solace to someone who is saddened. Let me provide some examples.
Fig.1
"Barbara, I told you, WATER ISN'T WET!!!!!"
Barbara responds with a clever goose emoji
"I see my mistakes, and the wisdom in the eyes of the Goose. I shall repent and admit that water is indeed wet."
Fig.2
"I am the sad :("
":goose:"
My sadness has been cured and my motivation to live has been restored. I feel the strength of a warlord welling up inside of me. I will go conquer the Sierra Nevada range and take it back in the name of Goose from those dastardly Douglas Squirrels."
2. Geese sacrificed their public image to be a sink for anger and aggression in the northernmost reaches of north america, where citizens are fabled to be as kind and caring as the geese themselves once were. If we were to spread this power via discord and its many users in copious regions, the effect could be multiplied a thousandfold, dissolving conflict and instilling kindness in many more places then physical geese could reach with their migration paths. Think of how many people could be spared by the mere existence of the goose emoji! once again, I will provide examples.
Fig. 1 (Future)
"The weebs have almost broken through our ranks! What should we do, chief?" A solider cried over the "Nyas" and "おまえはも死んでるs” at Area-51, The Second Invasion. The chief would confidently type merely a symbol, a word, and an emoji.
"at everyone :goose:"
Suddenly the fighting would cease, and tears would well up in the eyes of both sides, realizing they would be fighting a meaningless war. Once again, the wondrous abilities of the Goose had soaked up the conflict like an infinite avian sponge.
Fig. 2 (Past)
The Emu War, October 1932.
The fix here is evident. The farmers craved the blood of the innocent birds, who were just surviving off of the land they had always lived on. If the farmers had had a goose emoji sent to them on their discord accounts, then they would have realized their fatal mistakes and the affront they were about to make against the goose's avian friend, and the military would have never had to be involved.
3. Geese are very effective as asserting dominance over miscreants, and thus could be an effective tool for moderators and staff on the seemingly endless amount of discord servers. Using geese as a disciplinary device also could, in theory, be more effective then acts such as banning and kicking, where negative reinforcement of that may cause temporary cessation of the habit, it will not stop it, and in defiant individuals may cause it to happen more. If a quick goose emoji were to be used as a countermeasure instead, it could have a similar effect to a rap on the knuckles in real life, a quick jarring negative reinforcement that helps to program the brain to think,
"ooga booga action bad"
Notice the delicate wording indicating it would become instinct rather than noticeable thought. Once again, I shall provide examples.
Fig. 1
A member of a discord server is spamming outside of spam chat.
A clever moderator quickly types :goose: in the midst of the spamming.
The spammer stops, either out of confusion or being condemned with guilt by the presence of the Goose.
Fig. 2
A discord server includes a goose emoji at the end of their rule list, reminding people as they look at the rules that the Goose is always watching, and will know of their misdeeds. This leads to the discord server being delinquent free for months at a time, and means everyone in the server can rest safely knowing they are under the eye of the Goose.
Thank you for taking the time to read my humble proposal. I wish i could write more, but alas, I must be off to learn more about geese. Good will to the discord staff team and their attentiveness to their community.
Kind Regards,
Miles.
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I'm glad to have someone, who can talk like this, fighting along side me. You are not alone brother.
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